Three Steps for Giving Feedback That Works: Find It, Flip It, Elevate It
Our three-step process for giving feedback will take you from cringe to clarity.
This article was co-authored with my colleague and friend Jim Ludema. An earlier version of this article was posted at Forbes.com in 2018.
And be sure to read all the way to the bottom of this message, for an invite to an upcoming (free!) workshop.
“The last 10 percent is always the hardest part,” a direct report once said as he invited me to share what I was truly thinking about his performance.
Despite the open invitation, I found it hard to offer honest, direct feedback. For those of us taught to be “nice,” delivering bad news can feel like we’re breaking a code of honor.
Receiving feedback isn’t easy either. Egos can be fragile, and we are often afraid of what we might hear.
But without being willing to give and receive honest feedback, we cannot grow as leaders or help others do the same. Ken Blanchard said feedback is the breakfast of champions. So why would most of us rather go hungry?
The difference between feedback and criticism
If you’re one of the many, many people who shy away from feedback, it’s probably because you’ve been burned by criticism before. There’s a difference between criticism and feedback:
Don Miller, in his StoryBrand workshop, says most stories boil down to a few basic questions, principal among them “Am I good enough?” Our best movies, and many of our best people, struggle to answer this question at a deeply personal level.
When we hear criticism, most of hear, “no, you are not good enough.” It can feel like an autopsy: a diagnosis of what we did wrong, with little hope of resurrecting our dissected selves.
When we receive feedback rather than criticism, the focus goes from “what went wrong?” to “how do we make this better?” Because the focus is on improving for the future, we don’t feel hopeless; instead, we feel inspired to grow.
Find It, Flip It, Elevate It
So how do you give feedback that makes people feel like that? In our coaching and consulting practice, we use a simple three-step process: “Find It, Flip It, Elevate It.”
This pattern, drawn from the Appreciative Inquiry methodology, is simple to learn and can be applied to any challenge. Leaders who master it are known for their capacity to inspire action and drive positive results.
#1: Find It: The first step is to identify and name the “problem,” the issue you want to change.
#2: Flip It: Next, you flip it from a negative to a positive. What do you want more of?
#3: Elevate It: Finally, you elevate it by naming how this change will help the person meet organizational or personal goals.
Here’s a simple example: Tim’s office has a reception desk staffed by Corey. Because their team is small, Corey struggles to get breaks away from the desk. That means Corey often eats at the desk, even nibbling as guests are entering the reception area.
Find it: Tim thinks Corey’s habit of eating at the reception desk creates an unprofessional appearance, especially for guests.
Flip it: Tim wants Corey to eat somewhere other than the desk but still keep the reception desk staffed at all times.
Elevate it: Tim reframes his comments to reflect a motivating organizational priority: “Doing this will help us make a great first impression, as part of our commitment to delivering exceptional service.”
In this example, Tim isn’t ignoring the problem; he’s simply putting his focus on attaining excellence; he’s trusting Corey to figure out a process that will work. Tim’s situation is a relatively simple one.
Here’s a more complex example: Kerrie is the VP of an engineering team at a mid-size manufacturing company. Lately she’s noticed a lot of “not my problem” responses to concerns that arise throughout product development and testing. Telling others to “take ownership” hasn’t helped. Kerrie wants to speak with her senior directors about the problem.
Find it: “I’m concerned that team leaders are pushing problems up stream. It’s slowing down the R&D cycle and over-burdening a few people.”
Flip It: “I want our engineering team to be known for solving problems, no matter where they occurred in the cycle.”
Elevate It: “Our goal is to be the industry leader in product quality and time to market. To do that, we need to think and act like a team of problem-solvers, who jump in fast to fix problems and inspire others to do the same.”
Next steps: Kerrie recognizes this problem is complex and involves entrenched behaviors. A single conversation won’t solve it. She designs a process for shifting the team culture, beginning with this conversation with her senior directors, and evolving to include an all-hands meetings, role clarity conversations, and examples of solution-finding by staff members in company newsletters.
Why This Works
Flipping feedback takes the finger pointing out of the equation and puts the focus on achieving exceptional performance. You’re no longer getting bogged down in blame and retribution. Instead, you’re focused on defining and building a better future.
By finding, flipping, and elevating feedback, we create a shared vision: a future we want to work toward. We don’t point fingers or place blame, and we don’t have to mince words because our language can be clear, supportive, and future-focused.
People want to work for leaders who master this sort of feedback because it strengthens and builds up; it inspires changed behavior; it finds new sources of ability and resolve, and guides teams to new levels of success.
For more insights that may help you think about giving (and receiving) feedback well,
see this article on reducing drama at work.
More Examples
Before you try Find it, Flip it, Elevate it, here are a few more examples to inspire your thinking.
BONUS QUESTIONS
Trying to decide if you should give a tough piece of feedback? Three questions (not original to me, though I’m not sure who originated them) can help you evaluate:
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said by me now?
If you’re someone who jumps to give feedback and advice, those are good questions. (And maybe you should check out this post on why advice often doesn’t help.) The three questions above can help you determine if you should speak. Find it, flip it, elevate it can help you identify how to speak.
But if you’re someone who hesitates to give feedback, avoiding it as much as possible, then scrap those questions. Instead, ask yourself: Is this feedback important for the person’s future? If so, screw your courage to the sticking place, use find it, flip it, elevate it, and go have the conversation.
An Invitation
Thanks for reading this far!
If you like the spirit of find it, flip it, elevate it, you may want to learn more about Appreciative Inquiry. I’m holding a free, 1-hour workshop to introduce the basics of Appreciative Inquiry on May 30. Sign up here.
The Appreciative Inquiry methodology is a positive, collaborative, and future-focused process of leading change and developing people. Come learn more with me!